I made an entire separate three course vegan meal for someone at a dinner party I had in 2019 and then he ate dairy and I still bring it up sometimes. I agree with you on all of these. (I also have a food allergy)
I regret that I didn’t let the gluten free freak flag fly during my wedding reception. It was a back yard garden party that was mostly vegan, celiac friendly and delicious. Folks are still raving. And one friend made herself a plate, and I asked why her husband wasn’t eating, and she’s like oh he’s celiac. And I was like fuuuuck, so are we so when we made all this food it confirms to our norms. That was the happiest man in all of houston that day lol
One time I was hosting friends for dinner & one friend was adamant that he couldn’t have any dairy, and then he ate the entire loaf of french bread SLATHERED in my good French butter (that I didn’t even put out, it was in my fridge.) 😭😭😭 I had worked so hard on making sure all the food was dairy free to respect him and it STUNG
I still struggle at restaurants when they ask “any dietary restrictions?”. I usually read the menu before I go and choose dishes that are naturally GF or marked as GF. making the server explain the whole menu makes me feel very annoying. however, doing this at **nice** (i.e. michelin starred) restaurants fucking rocks because they’re generally eager to customize dishes and offer substitutes — you’re paying for the luxury of being annoying without feeling annoying.
I literally keep a note in my phone of a list of my friends and their kids who have allergies and what they each are to try and make sure there are things for them at my house and when we throw parties. I think your points on this list are perfection!
As someone who’s partner has celiac and various allergies (all fatal) we make it a point to not make a huge deal about it/make it other people’s problem. Going to dinner at a friends? We’ll prepare some things large enough for her and more. Going to dinner? Let the allergies be known in the resy and do the research before hand to know what’s a possibility and what’s not. It’s a lot of unconscious planning to make life simple and streamline to reduce the amount of potential bad dinners. Luckily we live in a city with good food scene and figured out a consistent list of where to go and for what occasions. There’s a certain level of etiquette to be had dining out or hanging with friends and last thing we want is someone to make it a bigger deal than it has to be.
I am SO GLAD that someone else follows the same kind of etiquette I do!!! I have moderate problems with wheat, I’m not fully celiac or even gluten intolerant, but quinoa makes me VIOLENTLY ill. I feel so so annoying when I explain to well meaning folks that a lot of gluten free products have quinoa or quinoa flour in them, and will make me sick. So to please please please, don’t surprise me with food, ask first.
I agree with all of these. I have a gluten allergy and a potato allergy. It’s insane trying to eat out, since 90% of the time the gluten free options have potato starch/flour. I’m careful never to make it anyone else’s problem, but I am lucky to have good friends who want to help. I’m hyper aware of how annoying I come across asking if they can check ingredients 🤣 I did a Disney World vacay a few years ago and it was the only time I didn’t feel annoying because they were so on the ball. That was glorious.
Disney is truly so accomodating!!! I have a corn allergy and the manager literally came out and let me know that the bread on the table was processed in corn flour, the level of care and detail is insane
I am also a gf gal and wrote a whole blog that I didn’t post about this topic because it is such a slippery situation. I do truly appreciate friends that always make an effort to provide a gf option or make sure that the restaurant has something gf 🥰 they are real ones!
i'm lactose intolerant and my friend made delicious looking cheesy potatoes and then normal potatoes for me..... i mean i ate the cheesy potatoes and dealt w the tummy ache on my own time but i felt bad AND THEY BROUGHT IT UP 😭
My grown son has a severe dairy allergy (and I am gluten sensitive), and his whole life I've tried very hard to not be annoying about it because I was concerned that a server or cook would add some dairy in "revenge". I always reassure people/servers that my gf choice is "preference" when asked because his isn't. Fun article! Thanks for the reassurance!
I would add pushing to a front of a line or serving yourself first at a potluck or meal to avoid cross contamination is not rude… especially when people have specifically made an effort to prepare GF food.
Ok tbh…. On principle I understand but I think pushing to the front of the line is rude. I think explaining cross contamination and asking if people wouldn’t mind if you went first is very acceptable imo
I made an entire separate three course vegan meal for someone at a dinner party I had in 2019 and then he ate dairy and I still bring it up sometimes. I agree with you on all of these. (I also have a food allergy)
I would genuinely never speak to him again that’s foul
I regret that I didn’t let the gluten free freak flag fly during my wedding reception. It was a back yard garden party that was mostly vegan, celiac friendly and delicious. Folks are still raving. And one friend made herself a plate, and I asked why her husband wasn’t eating, and she’s like oh he’s celiac. And I was like fuuuuck, so are we so when we made all this food it confirms to our norms. That was the happiest man in all of houston that day lol
One time I was hosting friends for dinner & one friend was adamant that he couldn’t have any dairy, and then he ate the entire loaf of french bread SLATHERED in my good French butter (that I didn’t even put out, it was in my fridge.) 😭😭😭 I had worked so hard on making sure all the food was dairy free to respect him and it STUNG
I honestly… don’t know if I could have stayed friends with this person. He STOLE your butter!!
I still struggle at restaurants when they ask “any dietary restrictions?”. I usually read the menu before I go and choose dishes that are naturally GF or marked as GF. making the server explain the whole menu makes me feel very annoying. however, doing this at **nice** (i.e. michelin starred) restaurants fucking rocks because they’re generally eager to customize dishes and offer substitutes — you’re paying for the luxury of being annoying without feeling annoying.
It’s the best, they’re always so informed
I literally keep a note in my phone of a list of my friends and their kids who have allergies and what they each are to try and make sure there are things for them at my house and when we throw parties. I think your points on this list are perfection!
As someone who’s partner has celiac and various allergies (all fatal) we make it a point to not make a huge deal about it/make it other people’s problem. Going to dinner at a friends? We’ll prepare some things large enough for her and more. Going to dinner? Let the allergies be known in the resy and do the research before hand to know what’s a possibility and what’s not. It’s a lot of unconscious planning to make life simple and streamline to reduce the amount of potential bad dinners. Luckily we live in a city with good food scene and figured out a consistent list of where to go and for what occasions. There’s a certain level of etiquette to be had dining out or hanging with friends and last thing we want is someone to make it a bigger deal than it has to be.
I am SO GLAD that someone else follows the same kind of etiquette I do!!! I have moderate problems with wheat, I’m not fully celiac or even gluten intolerant, but quinoa makes me VIOLENTLY ill. I feel so so annoying when I explain to well meaning folks that a lot of gluten free products have quinoa or quinoa flour in them, and will make me sick. So to please please please, don’t surprise me with food, ask first.
Lolol agree on every point. Excellent read
I totally agree with all of these. Now I see even more opportunities to be a brat about my diet, like on an airplane! ;)
I agree with all of these. I have a gluten allergy and a potato allergy. It’s insane trying to eat out, since 90% of the time the gluten free options have potato starch/flour. I’m careful never to make it anyone else’s problem, but I am lucky to have good friends who want to help. I’m hyper aware of how annoying I come across asking if they can check ingredients 🤣 I did a Disney World vacay a few years ago and it was the only time I didn’t feel annoying because they were so on the ball. That was glorious.
Disney is actually so goof about allergies they're the best. I can't imagine a potato AND gluten allergy, I'm so sorry girl
Disney is truly so accomodating!!! I have a corn allergy and the manager literally came out and let me know that the bread on the table was processed in corn flour, the level of care and detail is insane
I am also a gf gal and wrote a whole blog that I didn’t post about this topic because it is such a slippery situation. I do truly appreciate friends that always make an effort to provide a gf option or make sure that the restaurant has something gf 🥰 they are real ones!
i'm lactose intolerant and my friend made delicious looking cheesy potatoes and then normal potatoes for me..... i mean i ate the cheesy potatoes and dealt w the tummy ache on my own time but i felt bad AND THEY BROUGHT IT UP 😭
My grown son has a severe dairy allergy (and I am gluten sensitive), and his whole life I've tried very hard to not be annoying about it because I was concerned that a server or cook would add some dairy in "revenge". I always reassure people/servers that my gf choice is "preference" when asked because his isn't. Fun article! Thanks for the reassurance!
So much this!!! Awesome post. :-)
Don’t be annoying on an airplane. It is unsafe for everyone confined in the metal tube going 500mph in the sky. Travel with a snack.
I would add pushing to a front of a line or serving yourself first at a potluck or meal to avoid cross contamination is not rude… especially when people have specifically made an effort to prepare GF food.
Ok tbh…. On principle I understand but I think pushing to the front of the line is rude. I think explaining cross contamination and asking if people wouldn’t mind if you went first is very acceptable imo