How annoying are Gluten-Free people allowed to be

Drawing the line by someone with celiac

Gluten-free people have the stereotype of being annoying. UMMMM is this Gluten-Freee? It’s true, we are. When I was handed my diagnosis, I was suddenly filled with an uncontrollable urge to make it my entire personality. I’m mostly joking. Being gluten-free (and I imagine health allergies in general) is something I think about and deal with every single day, and it hugely impacts my health. It’s annoying to me and clearly other people as well. But where do we draw the line? Who owes you compassion and understanding, and to what extent? How much can you self-advocate and protect your health without burdening others? What point constitutes being annoying? Side note: sometimes it’s okay to be annoying; you just have to be self-aware.

My personal belief is that, at the end of the day, your allergies are your problem. Good friends will try to ensure you are included, but if they don’t, it’s not their responsibility… you also don’t have to be friends with those kinds of people. The grey area between protecting your health and setting boundaries and being someone who makes it everyone’s problem can be challenging to navigate, so I’ve detailed some specific situations and how annoying I think it’s okay to be. Preface: allergies are a deeply personal and trying health experience; the examples below are subject to a lot of nuance, and at the end of the day, you can do whatever you feel is appropriate, and being annoying doesn’t make you necessarily in the wrong or a bad person. Let’s get into it.

1. You’re at a restaurant and you order something gluten-free, it comes but it doesn’t seem gluten-free. I think it’s acceptable to double-check and confirm it’s gluten-free with the waiter ONCE and ask them to confirm with the chef ONCE. If they insist it is and you’re not sure, I think asking them to remake it crosses into annoying territory. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet, take it to go, and eat your gf Annie’s mac at home.

2. You go to a friend’s house for dinner. Your friend knows about your dietary restrictions and makes an effort to accommodate you, making you a special meal. The bread basket, however, looks SCRUMPTIOUS. You are in the boat where eating gluten-free makes you feel better so you you try and eat gf 99% of the time but sometimes things are worth cheating. You help yourself to a piece of bread. This makes you annoying. It’s very valid to have whatever dietary restrictions you feel are best for you. But if someone has gone out of their way to accommodate you, it’s a very bad look to not follow said diet. Your friends WILL 100% talk shit about you behind your back if you do this.

3. You are going on a group trip and someone else is grocery shopping, you’re not confident they will get you gf snacks. You are allowed to ask for specialty gf groceries but you must exclude them from the group Venmo. I think it is annoying to make your friends pay for $9 gf bread that they’re not going to eat. Tate’s gf cookies are kind of an edge case here bc everyone will eat them.

4. You are at a work event and your employer is aware of your allergies and you are not accommodated. There is no limit to how annoying you can be. March yourself straight to HR. That said, make sure you make it the right person’s problem. If you go to your boss that may not reflect well on you, this is HR’s problem and you should be ACOMMODATED. Be annoying on paper, keep a record, go get your GF sandwich!

5. You are a plus one at a work event or go to a networking event and the organizer was unaware of your allergies prior. It is acceptable to ask if there is a gluten-free option but if there’s not that’s on you and it’s rude to make a stink about it.

6. You’re going out to dinner with a group of friends. It is very reasonable to ask to go to a restaurant that has at least one gf option. Your friends are assholes if they won’t do that and tbh that’s a valid reason to end the friendship.

7. It’s someone’s birthday or celebratory dinner and they want to go to a specific restaurant that is not gf friendly. You cannot ask to go to a different restaurant, that’s annoying and self-centered. You must eat prior and just have drinks or call and ask the restaurant if you can bring a GF meal. That being said, I think it’s appropriate to inform the host of your inability to eat at said restaurant but you’re more than happy to go anyways because it’s their special day.

8. Someone is getting married and the catered menu items don’t have a gf option. It is acceptable to ask if there is one but if there is not or you’re not confident the caterers will execute it’s not annoying to ask to bring your own meal. You must be demure tho. No loudly shaking your salad in a plastic tin while people eat their dry chicken. 

9. You are on an airplane: your meal is not GF as you requested, there are no GF options, or you suspect cross-contamination. There is no limit to how annoying you can be here. No one wants you to tear up that in-flight bathroom or have an allergic reaction. Call customer service and be a pain. Get your travel voucher pookie. This is your time to let your gluten-free freak flag fly.

These are just some of my thoughts: dietary issues are personal and touchy subject with a lot of nuance that varies greatly from person to person. This is my personal thoughts but I want to hear your guys!