Did anyone notice that Violent Witchazel's recipes are perfect for the unhoused / homeless / oven -less / cooktop less. (You won't get burnt ).
.
There's not lot of "Oven based" "cooking (here - it appears) - no Aga insight or AGA in sight - requiring that most Paleolithic / neanderthal like application of 'heat" to one's Dickensian wittles ?
.
Such will be the times to come.
.
It's not just a coincidence your microwave cooks on 2.45 GHZ (Giga Hertz ) the same base frequency your Wi-Fi / Wireless Local Area Network works on...
.
In the future your wireless internet connection will "Cook" you and your food.
.
"There's an app for that " <--- Cheerful italic/ Italianate writing / font.
.
________________________________________________
.
[Nice typeface BTW... that hand does not belong to Violet - that's the hand of sixty five year old - at least ].
.
Subtle point here - a fake environment (Substack) populated almost entirely by chatbots does not require said chatbots to attempt to prepare a meal...
.
Although only slightly less ironic that a free recipe from a ghost-written ghost writer of nearly every celebrity cookbook... [is that celebrity cook-book or celebrity COOK - 'book ? ].
.
Nigella (Lawson) says - when in doubt use yer fingers and spread Marmite vigorously with or without children.
.
Sadly an onion tart will not save your marriage even an Ainsley Harriot (sp) one. (ask me how I know).
.
There are not enough cookbooks for desperate codependent post-metrosexual guys to cook from with friendly advice on and of (pertaining to) - HOW to know what you are doing rather than being wholly dependent on stoichiometrically unscalable measures and woeful degrees of deliberate - holding out-on-you inaccurately cast "Recipes" that will land you in divorce court.
.
The "Grow a spine" cookbook with useful advice in the vein of Carluccio has yet to be written - Minimum of Fuss - Maximum of Flavor - MoF_MoF or Mif_Maf - Muf_Mif ??? It doesn't have to be Italian (although that did not stop various wives and mistresses taking advantage of him).
.
These young and slightly older "men" (and in some cases even Older - OLD MEN ) have NO IDEA what to 'Do" in a kitchen let alone life itself ... we have to start somewhere and set an example suggested title 'FROM THE KITCHEN OUT ! ". Cooking with life lessons learnt - it's more of an attitude that will put you in the right place than painstakingly following recipes like a myopic mole about have its head chopped off.
.
- if you have access to one -. a Kitchen (with a stove) - not a mole (I can't spell molleiay but not that either ... btw stop randomly putting chocolate in things including food and just order a Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte* , from the Austo-Hungarian Patisserie for Christ's sake... There's no shame in that. ).
.
( Life lessons learnt over the fire and other places )
.^^^ Is set to make a comeback - and reaffirm childhood trauma... Something you can pass onto your offspring if you can afford to have them or just random street urchins doom scrolling while leaning against a lamp post - just invite them in ...
.
When training the new intake of pick-pocketting Faganesque troop of thieves try the following opening line...
.
"Hullo oiky child thing - fancy comin' in for a GIGANTIC slice of Black Forrest Gateau - wuld yoi ".
.
Oiky child lamp-post leaner smart phone doom scroller replies (with rosey apple cheeked wild enthusiasm : "Wuld Oiayye ..!!!" ~ (as if to say I thought he'd/she'd nevva arsk only pretending to doom scroll as the smart phone is fake - just a literal Victorian school tablet (made of slate) artfully snapped in half and painted (one side) in retroreflective paint stollen from an abandoned rail yard and chalk.)
.
^^^ Obviously you have to first at least spend three weeks at the Dick Van Dyke school of London elocution. [Not the London School of electrocution in West 1 round the corner from Harley Street - ask me how I know .].
.
Side note: With Essex Serpent - why didn't they just let Claire Danes be American she's perfect as she is - BUT NO ... they had to send her to the Dick Van Dyke school of chim-churrie - chim shim sherry_rue...
.
Tom Hiddleston of Loki fame - friends do not let friends go to the Dick Van Dyke school of mouth churningly contorted Chinese English via the imaginary tortred and tortured and contorted vowels of the pearly King and Queen born in the proximity of the sound of Beau Bells - and like Orwell's 1984 the other numpties are probably wondering when they are going to get paid too? Oranges and Lemons... Said the bells of Saint* ...
.
Slight digression - these are ALL important skills going forwards forwars 4_wars (??) like a character from a Rohl Dahl book that wrote a manual on how to groom kids using cake , not groom horses or necessarily groom young girls also using horses...
St. Clements and St. Martins are nice enough areas for sure - but the picture painted by the City bells is a dismal one, one of increasing debt and debtors prisons in increasingly sketchy - dank and dangerous parts of Londinium - really the journey and path of an entrepreneur that had to hire other people and sustain a line of credit and obviously fail - whose debts forced one to turn to crime to do right by those he owed money to and consequently loses his head at the gallows.
.
Maybe Nigella or someone else can make a cake (as her father was the Chancellor of Exchequer - who famously once remarked 'I have never met a carbohydrate I didn't like " - that tells exactly the story and the disastrous neglect that the American nation affords small business and the toil and risks involved - needless failure by a truly cruel society - "Cake".
I like Natasha's Kitchen as its content and recipes are not jealously guarded like an unknown amount of gold held at Fort Knox in spite of random advertising.
.
And if one has a cake from the historically disputed Alsace region and balanced out by a classic French tart then unquestionably CHINZANO brings a true trifecta delivered by an English tart in the form of Lorraine Chase.
.
No parochial nineteen seventies grasp at - at home entertaining and gastronomy would be complete without Chinzano and cheap Austrian Liebfraumilch (literally Virgins Milk* we'll get to the Germanic peoples and how Dead Nuns or at least Blue one's and Little Bears living in Rhine land forests are able to express milk in the form of ... later - ) made with Antifreeze (Polyethylene Glycol) - (True story) and why my evil mother will never die as all her tissues are preserved with Polyethylene Glycol (like Henry VIII's resurrected flagship THE MARY ROSE that instantly sunk on its maiden voyage - a bit like this Substcrack page ) and her body will be donated to medical science while she is still alive as we have no other options. It's a very unnatural situation.
^^^ Somehow I think this intersects with Season 4 of the BEAR. (Looks like the Holland and Holland shooting club) . [I wonder how much Joan Collins got paid for that ? I mean she took the money... ].
^^^ CAMPARI and Lemonade <--- In Italy that was served to children so there's this underage pedo / creeper vibe in the set up already... EVEN MORE ghastly... I consider Lorraine Chase as more than pretty fine actor considering her whole body of work.
^^^ There were more of these - as someone who actually was roofied - its hard not to get the sense of predatory older men plying young naive girls with lurid and strange sweet drinks where such a Micky Finn would be completely disguised. ~ this narrative seems to be leaning heavily into maybe a second season of "RIVALS". I think we forget how far we have come and yet still to go.
.
.
Well it seems the Saatchi brothers failed (not just in strangling Nigella Lawson to death in a restaurant + Scotalnd Yard police investigation / divorce + NDAs / very substantial settlement - GOOD ! ) and failed to sufficiently sink the election campaign of the war criminal known as Tony Blair - it seems I have confuzzulated Campari and Soda with CHINZANO and Joan Collins and Leonard Rossiter...
.
+ the whole stupid Luton* Airport thing and never in a million years going back to Baby Sham (alcoholic FIZZY Pear juice - as only the pleby-iest of NEO-NAZIs would ever drink at Christmas time that - (back in the day) ...
^^^ Babycham composite from 80s back to 60s - you can only marvel at the brain damage on display here and yet very saucerful advertising campaigns ... adopting the point of making the camel on a pack of CAMEL cigarettes come to life to appeal to children - stratagem; was Hellen Miren being shunned from a Peter Dominick's ? [Lot of people I recognize there - weirdly - small world .].
We'll come back to the Saatchi brothers for 'Cake inspiration "... Inspiration drawn from the Saatchi "gallery" / chamber of horrors. Sick b*stards !
.
Now this is all starting to get a bit SALTBURN (unintentionally) already - the thinly disguised dangly sticky - knobly raisin like dead flyblown knarly fly-paper "Hidden" in plain sight dangling down from the dusty yet ostentatious and woefully out of fashion glass chandelier of class warfare and predation in both directions - upward AND downwards the reflexive natural desires that people have for riding the trolley bus and tram of baked-in exploitation - that 'Society" seems to endlessly offer as "opportunity". Even a land of possibilities and "Opportunities" ... So said the Biden. Possibility ... possibilitiezzz ... plosibizzlies - such a sermon.
* Luton (airport) and Luton itself (not gluten or Lutan from Andor ---> Given the Osama Bin Laden Netflix doco that just dropped - it's interesting to note that there are many Muslim communities many hailing from Pakistan and elsewhere living in the UK concentrated in the London satellite city LUTON - where their respective and restless teenage sons engage in the struggle and go off to Syria and Afghanistan and Iraq and other place to learn how to be a dutiful member of ISIS - basic military training / holiday summer camp - know your way round a Kalashnikov kind of thing - crawl under barbed wire for a couple weeks - build various improvised explosives etc. and then come home to "Mum" after four weeks; what's funny about this/that is in the UK guns are completely banned whereas in America there are bands of Good Ole boy Militia (s) plural that do this EVERY weekend. In each context there is little that the state can do to curtail such behaviors and interests. (Apparently...) . One of many artifacts of a truly FREE society - as long as you don't have to pay for it - .
.
In general it's amazing what restless teenagers get up to when they connect with more 'Exciting" elders for a cause.
Just made this tonight and it was divine!
Yay!
yummm
Flourless goodness! How do I veganize though?
In the future no one will own an oven...
.
Did anyone notice that Violent Witchazel's recipes are perfect for the unhoused / homeless / oven -less / cooktop less. (You won't get burnt ).
.
There's not lot of "Oven based" "cooking (here - it appears) - no Aga insight or AGA in sight - requiring that most Paleolithic / neanderthal like application of 'heat" to one's Dickensian wittles ?
.
Such will be the times to come.
.
It's not just a coincidence your microwave cooks on 2.45 GHZ (Giga Hertz ) the same base frequency your Wi-Fi / Wireless Local Area Network works on...
.
In the future your wireless internet connection will "Cook" you and your food.
.
"There's an app for that " <--- Cheerful italic/ Italianate writing / font.
.
________________________________________________
.
[Nice typeface BTW... that hand does not belong to Violet - that's the hand of sixty five year old - at least ].
.
Subtle point here - a fake environment (Substack) populated almost entirely by chatbots does not require said chatbots to attempt to prepare a meal...
.
Although only slightly less ironic that a free recipe from a ghost-written ghost writer of nearly every celebrity cookbook... [is that celebrity cook-book or celebrity COOK - 'book ? ].
.
Nigella (Lawson) says - when in doubt use yer fingers and spread Marmite vigorously with or without children.
.
Sadly an onion tart will not save your marriage even an Ainsley Harriot (sp) one. (ask me how I know).
.
There are not enough cookbooks for desperate codependent post-metrosexual guys to cook from with friendly advice on and of (pertaining to) - HOW to know what you are doing rather than being wholly dependent on stoichiometrically unscalable measures and woeful degrees of deliberate - holding out-on-you inaccurately cast "Recipes" that will land you in divorce court.
.
The "Grow a spine" cookbook with useful advice in the vein of Carluccio has yet to be written - Minimum of Fuss - Maximum of Flavor - MoF_MoF or Mif_Maf - Muf_Mif ??? It doesn't have to be Italian (although that did not stop various wives and mistresses taking advantage of him).
.
These young and slightly older "men" (and in some cases even Older - OLD MEN ) have NO IDEA what to 'Do" in a kitchen let alone life itself ... we have to start somewhere and set an example suggested title 'FROM THE KITCHEN OUT ! ". Cooking with life lessons learnt - it's more of an attitude that will put you in the right place than painstakingly following recipes like a myopic mole about have its head chopped off.
.
- if you have access to one -. a Kitchen (with a stove) - not a mole (I can't spell molleiay but not that either ... btw stop randomly putting chocolate in things including food and just order a Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte* , from the Austo-Hungarian Patisserie for Christ's sake... There's no shame in that. ).
.
( Life lessons learnt over the fire and other places )
________________________________________________________________________________
.
* Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte [ˈʃvaʁt͡svɛldɐ ˈkɪʁʃˌtɔʁtə] ⓘ, lit. 'Black Forest cherry torte ') or Black Forest cake / gateau ... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Forest_gateau
.
.^^^ Is set to make a comeback - and reaffirm childhood trauma... Something you can pass onto your offspring if you can afford to have them or just random street urchins doom scrolling while leaning against a lamp post - just invite them in ...
.
When training the new intake of pick-pocketting Faganesque troop of thieves try the following opening line...
.
"Hullo oiky child thing - fancy comin' in for a GIGANTIC slice of Black Forrest Gateau - wuld yoi ".
.
Oiky child lamp-post leaner smart phone doom scroller replies (with rosey apple cheeked wild enthusiasm : "Wuld Oiayye ..!!!" ~ (as if to say I thought he'd/she'd nevva arsk only pretending to doom scroll as the smart phone is fake - just a literal Victorian school tablet (made of slate) artfully snapped in half and painted (one side) in retroreflective paint stollen from an abandoned rail yard and chalk.)
.
^^^ Obviously you have to first at least spend three weeks at the Dick Van Dyke school of London elocution. [Not the London School of electrocution in West 1 round the corner from Harley Street - ask me how I know .].
.
Side note: With Essex Serpent - why didn't they just let Claire Danes be American she's perfect as she is - BUT NO ... they had to send her to the Dick Van Dyke school of chim-churrie - chim shim sherry_rue...
.
Tom Hiddleston of Loki fame - friends do not let friends go to the Dick Van Dyke school of mouth churningly contorted Chinese English via the imaginary tortred and tortured and contorted vowels of the pearly King and Queen born in the proximity of the sound of Beau Bells - and like Orwell's 1984 the other numpties are probably wondering when they are going to get paid too? Oranges and Lemons... Said the bells of Saint* ...
.
Slight digression - these are ALL important skills going forwards forwars 4_wars (??) like a character from a Rohl Dahl book that wrote a manual on how to groom kids using cake , not groom horses or necessarily groom young girls also using horses...
.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
.
*
.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oranges_and_Lemons
.
Oranges and lemons,
Say the bells of St. Clement's.
.
You owe me five farthings,
Say the bells of St. Martin's.
.
When will you pay me?
Say the bells at Old Bailey.
.
When I grow rich,
Say the bells at Shoreditch.
.
When will that be?
Say the bells of Stepney.
.
I do not know,
Says the great bell at Bow.
.
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
And here comes a chopper to chop off your head!
.
.
I left off the last line as its not in 1984.
.
.
St. Clements and St. Martins are nice enough areas for sure - but the picture painted by the City bells is a dismal one, one of increasing debt and debtors prisons in increasingly sketchy - dank and dangerous parts of Londinium - really the journey and path of an entrepreneur that had to hire other people and sustain a line of credit and obviously fail - whose debts forced one to turn to crime to do right by those he owed money to and consequently loses his head at the gallows.
.
Maybe Nigella or someone else can make a cake (as her father was the Chancellor of Exchequer - who famously once remarked 'I have never met a carbohydrate I didn't like " - that tells exactly the story and the disastrous neglect that the American nation affords small business and the toil and risks involved - needless failure by a truly cruel society - "Cake".
.
Let them eat ...
Great recipe!
It's all very "Town & Country ".
.
.
I had no idea that Alsatians could write cookbooks.
.
I guess after they learnt how to drive auto-mobiles it was just a matter of time...
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czgC3T3lwEk&t=1s
.
^^^ Rescue dogs in New Zealand showing us how dumb humans really are.
.
No doubt you cannot reintroduce a Black Forrest Gateau without being counter poised by the return of the quiche Lorraine...
.
https://natashaskitchen.com/quiche-lorraine/
.
I like Natasha's Kitchen as its content and recipes are not jealously guarded like an unknown amount of gold held at Fort Knox in spite of random advertising.
.
And if one has a cake from the historically disputed Alsace region and balanced out by a classic French tart then unquestionably CHINZANO brings a true trifecta delivered by an English tart in the form of Lorraine Chase.
.
No parochial nineteen seventies grasp at - at home entertaining and gastronomy would be complete without Chinzano and cheap Austrian Liebfraumilch (literally Virgins Milk* we'll get to the Germanic peoples and how Dead Nuns or at least Blue one's and Little Bears living in Rhine land forests are able to express milk in the form of ... later - ) made with Antifreeze (Polyethylene Glycol) - (True story) and why my evil mother will never die as all her tissues are preserved with Polyethylene Glycol (like Henry VIII's resurrected flagship THE MARY ROSE that instantly sunk on its maiden voyage - a bit like this Substcrack page ) and her body will be donated to medical science while she is still alive as we have no other options. It's a very unnatural situation.
.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkjidE0WnAI
.
CHINZANO ... hmmmm maybe an even more misogynistic twist and pun there - worse than MADMEN.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PirMZGL-0mQ
.
^^^ Truly Ghaaaaastly.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PirMZGL-0mQ
.
^^^ Somehow I think this intersects with Season 4 of the BEAR. (Looks like the Holland and Holland shooting club) . [I wonder how much Joan Collins got paid for that ? I mean she took the money... ].
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaEjIlZsuTg&t=0s
.
^^^ CAMPARI and Lemonade <--- In Italy that was served to children so there's this underage pedo / creeper vibe in the set up already... EVEN MORE ghastly... I consider Lorraine Chase as more than pretty fine actor considering her whole body of work.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1neWoEwS7nI&t=2s
.
^^^ There were more of these - as someone who actually was roofied - its hard not to get the sense of predatory older men plying young naive girls with lurid and strange sweet drinks where such a Micky Finn would be completely disguised. ~ this narrative seems to be leaning heavily into maybe a second season of "RIVALS". I think we forget how far we have come and yet still to go.
.
.
Well it seems the Saatchi brothers failed (not just in strangling Nigella Lawson to death in a restaurant + Scotalnd Yard police investigation / divorce + NDAs / very substantial settlement - GOOD ! ) and failed to sufficiently sink the election campaign of the war criminal known as Tony Blair - it seems I have confuzzulated Campari and Soda with CHINZANO and Joan Collins and Leonard Rossiter...
.
+ the whole stupid Luton* Airport thing and never in a million years going back to Baby Sham (alcoholic FIZZY Pear juice - as only the pleby-iest of NEO-NAZIs would ever drink at Christmas time that - (back in the day) ...
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu_6Uacu0KI
.
^^^ Babycham composite from 80s back to 60s - you can only marvel at the brain damage on display here and yet very saucerful advertising campaigns ... adopting the point of making the camel on a pack of CAMEL cigarettes come to life to appeal to children - stratagem; was Hellen Miren being shunned from a Peter Dominick's ? [Lot of people I recognize there - weirdly - small world .].
We'll come back to the Saatchi brothers for 'Cake inspiration "... Inspiration drawn from the Saatchi "gallery" / chamber of horrors. Sick b*stards !
.
Now this is all starting to get a bit SALTBURN (unintentionally) already - the thinly disguised dangly sticky - knobly raisin like dead flyblown knarly fly-paper "Hidden" in plain sight dangling down from the dusty yet ostentatious and woefully out of fashion glass chandelier of class warfare and predation in both directions - upward AND downwards the reflexive natural desires that people have for riding the trolley bus and tram of baked-in exploitation - that 'Society" seems to endlessly offer as "opportunity". Even a land of possibilities and "Opportunities" ... So said the Biden. Possibility ... possibilitiezzz ... plosibizzlies - such a sermon.
.
____________________________________________________________________________________
.
* Luton (airport) and Luton itself (not gluten or Lutan from Andor ---> Given the Osama Bin Laden Netflix doco that just dropped - it's interesting to note that there are many Muslim communities many hailing from Pakistan and elsewhere living in the UK concentrated in the London satellite city LUTON - where their respective and restless teenage sons engage in the struggle and go off to Syria and Afghanistan and Iraq and other place to learn how to be a dutiful member of ISIS - basic military training / holiday summer camp - know your way round a Kalashnikov kind of thing - crawl under barbed wire for a couple weeks - build various improvised explosives etc. and then come home to "Mum" after four weeks; what's funny about this/that is in the UK guns are completely banned whereas in America there are bands of Good Ole boy Militia (s) plural that do this EVERY weekend. In each context there is little that the state can do to curtail such behaviors and interests. (Apparently...) . One of many artifacts of a truly FREE society - as long as you don't have to pay for it - .
.
In general it's amazing what restless teenagers get up to when they connect with more 'Exciting" elders for a cause.
.
.
.